life death and love

It is odd how often we forget about the fragility and preciousness of life. We are(for the most part) not surrounded by life and death on a daily basis. It is foreign to us, we hear of wars in far off countries, or disasters killing thousands elsewhere, but our day to day lives are filled with narrowly viewing tasks. I teach, I go to class, I do homework, and the entire time I am caught up and frustrated by the day to day, and irritated by the normal, and never does it really enter into my mind to contemplate mortality. That is until I hear that a friend died, or someone close to me is ill. it seems like all of a sudden some ailment, some death springs up and jumps in and wrecks my little cubicle of theoretical thoughts.

I found out recently that my fathers cancer has come back, its been caught really early, so there is a great chance of recovery, but that threat to mortality still strikes a chord within and causes a wrecking dissonance within my carefully constructed world. And then I find out a family friend, only 33 years old died in his sleep unexpectedly. No one knows yet how he died, just that he went to bed one night and didnt get up.

It is times like these when I think upon my life, and think upon all the death and suffering I have known. My grandmother, a friend killed in an accident, a friend who killed himself, and the list goes on and on. Life is a lesson in mortality and death. The older we get the more and more death and suffering we see, the more we live through. And whats the point of everything else?

I spend so much time in books, so much time on intellectual pursuits, but does it help anyone? I know all the arguments for academic study, and how it can make us to better serve others....but sometimes the answers aren't enough. Sometimes it doesn't matter how much we know, how many degrees we have....if we have not set the captives free, given the blind sight, the mute a voice, the naked clothes, if we have not loved, it is all worthless.